Learn from Criticism: Use Feedback as Fuel for Growth

Have you ever experienced a moment when you received constructive feedback, and your gut reaction was to defend yourself? I remember a training session I led. I was energized and got caught up in the excitement of debriefing the activity. I ended up talking non-stop - dominating the conversation. It wasn’t until my co-facilitator gently pointed it out that I realized the most valuable part of the exercise was missing: The space for everyone to reflect and share their insights. That moment hit me hard. I learned that leadership isn’t about having all the answers, but about facilitating an environment where others can discover their own ah-ha moments.

Our first instinct when we’re corrected is often defensiveness. We feel misunderstood, judged, or exposed. But when we choose to see constructive criticism as a gift, it can become one of our most powerful tools for growth.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Sharpening doesn’t happen without friction—and neither does maturity.

We grow when we listen. Not just to praise, but to honest input. Leadership—especially in the church—requires the kind of humility that can hear truth without bristling. Because you can’t lead people well if you can’t be led by truth.

Greg McKeown puts it this way:

“Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.”

There’s wisdom there - especially for leaders. You can’t react to every opinion. Some feedback is clarifying; some is just noise. But even when it’s off-base or delivered poorly, there may still be a sliver of truth worth noticing.

And sometimes, hearing something - even said imperfectly - is better than silence that eventually festers into division.

Paul confronted Peter publicly (Galatians 2). Nathan confronted King David (2 Samuel 12). Healthy correction is part of God’s design for accountability and spiritual leadership.

Practice Exercise: Constructive Criticism Action Plan

1. Recall a Recent Instance: Think of a piece of feedback you’ve received lately—maybe from a staff member, deacon, board, or church member. Write it down, along with your gut reaction.

2. Analyze the Feedback: Reflect on the criticism. What were the key points being made? Ask yourself:

   • What specific behavior or pattern was being addressed?

   • Have I heard something similar before?

   • What might God be trying to teach me through this?

3. Set a Goal for Improvement: Choose one area to improve. Make it specific.
   Example: “I will listen 80% and speak 20% during business meetings this month.”

4. Outline an Action Step: Small steps matter. Maybe you…

   • Ask one more person for feedback this week.

   • Invite someone to challenge you when needed.

   • Pause for three seconds before replying in tough conversations.

5. Review and Reflect: After a week or two, check in. What’s changed? What’s still hard? Who could help you grow in this area?

You don’t have to agree with every critique. But as a leader in God’s church, you do have to model humility. Your openness to feedback sets the tone for your team and your congregation. Leaders who receive correction well create churches where people aren’t afraid to grow.

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath…” James 1:19